Friday, April 22, 2005
A day where all devils are ard me...
I was in the cab, silently praying that I won't be late, while staring out into the swooshing buildings and a pool of cars bouncing off the hungry sunlight that desperately wanted to melt into the metals. About 10 minutes into the ride, i felt my hp vibrate in my right jeans pocket..I flipped open my phone, pressed a button, and that was the point in time where the day's most destructive and dampening event descended upon me.
I got a D+ for my fyp...
Well that may seem ok to some ppl, thinking that it's already gd that I have passed. I should say that you are right, partially though. I shifted that thought away from me for that morning, and continued with my daily work routine...
Hours passed and it was then that I decided to ask how my fren had fared, so i texted her. She checked her results and get back to me with the news that she got a B..At this point your eyelids may have started to droop while scanning my boring blog..Well cheer up for the most exciting and intriguing part is abt to unfold...
My so-called fren, had requested that I help her out when I suggested to her that she should do a game instead of an e-comm webby, since she doesn't possess even the slightest idea how to do the coding. So, I told her not to dive into such a risky proj and to do game instead cos it's easier and I'll teach her since she doesn't even know wad's Director initially. I thought we could do together and exchange pointers. Apparently, it's naiveness on my part as days and weeks passes, and with each passing day she's literally relying on me to research on solutions and codes for her. I thought that since I will need the codes as well so why not? So while I buried my nose under thick and bulky IT books to find out solutions to our problems, she just sat there pushing and moving her mouse, drawing out her characters using paint..Was she totally relying on me to help her pass or did she really not know anything about codes?I've asked myself that a hundred times, and for ur info yours truly suck in coding as well, but I tried my level best to understand the codes that's making my head spin everytime I look at it..My pal Reg can vouch for my stupidity in programming I guess...
I've tried hard, harder than what I've done for the past 2.5 yrs slacking in poly. I don't mind backpacking a laptop looking like a tortoise and borrowing yet another thick book from the sch library for research purposes and would gladly trudge hm in my 3kg bag and maybe another 0.5kg of book..Now, tell me, why did i do all that for? I wanted a nice transcript, for heaven's sake..Ppl who know me knows that I hate carrying heavy stuffs, and wouldn't even bring a bag out if it serves no purpose...
N I helped her out cos she seems so helpless, I feel that I have the responsibility to do something abt it, since we're both under the same supervisor..To think when I told her my grade, she simply brushed it off with something like "Oh dun be too sad, maybe cos u had too many errors that's why u did badly"...Hello, doesn't she hv any errors? N who helped her solve all her errors during testing? Who was the one who kept bugging me to help her out when she can't seem to handle all the errors that's hindering her work schedule? I even took time out to help her source out other alternatives when her codes aren't working, and left my own work undone, and hence I'm way behind schedule. I din do all that I did to deserve a D+ okay?Is it even funny that I helped someone out using my own brains while she did nothing and the conclusion is that the person who did nothing got all the credits? Her scope of the proj is also much smaller and easier than mine, alright? Why is she the one deserving all that praise when the person behind all her work is ME? And to think she din even let me in on what she did for her report when she zapped the whole report of a former student and practically stealed the ideas from there..How nice...
I'm just ranting ok? Dun feel sorry for me..I just wanna make my feelings known, of how it feels like to be cheated..Cheated of my kindness and patience towards her when she kept tugging on my sleeves and begging me to help her out. (now the "begging" is just an expression, it's too far-fetched. What she did was to take me for granted ONLY...) I swear nv to help a stranger out again..Well did I mention that I din even know her b4 this proj started? It's not like she's my best pal in poly or what..SO why did I help her in the first place? Nice qn..I shall ponder over that...
Fingers dancing ended on 4/22/2005 12:01:00 PM
~~~~~
