** Relinquishing solitude **

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

A jobless me...

Bored. Bored. Bored. I've been receiving negative comments/insults from family members and friends that I do nothing almost every day, except slacking all day long, and maybe with some infusions of desultory surfing of the internet, and the sacred ritual of keeping my eyes glued to the TV screen at 7pm and 9pm every day.

I know I'm jobless, but I don't want it this way too ok? I visit the Jobstreet website obediently every day, with the hope of finding some jobs suitable for me, but I rule out Sales and Admin, while other jobs all require some form of experience. Being a fresh graduate, of cos I don't have any experience to speak of, but to possess the much sought after experience by employers, you will need to start from scratch right? If they refuse to give rookies a chance, then where does that leave the fresh grads? Who are they gonna turn to for jobs? As in a proper job that befits their qualifications and status, not some stupid general work that even someone who didn't complete their secondary education can handle. Therefore, does that mean fresh grads can only turn to jobs which someone of a lower education level can apply for as well? Well, I'm not too sure, but that seems to be the case for me...

I've been told that it was me with the problem, and there's nothing to do with the seemingly pathetic few job vacancies available. "You're too choosy," said one of my friends. "No, I'm not," I tried to defend myself. Thinking back, maybe I am, but I know I'm not cut out for Sales, so that's out. Admin sucks too, it's too boring and the daily routine's so monotonous it can kill me. So what should I do?

Guess I'm better off dead...

Fingers dancing ended on 5/31/2005 10:26:00 PM

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Thursday, May 19, 2005

Technology-wise

As I am typing this blog now, we should be fully aware of the troubles it took for developers to churn out this innovative idea for us. Now, as we all know, we are living in a world surrounded by highly-digitised equipments, and how does that affect us? Of cos it benefits the majority, especially the younger generation, since they are all trained in operating IT products now, and even the elderly have started to enrol for computer lessons now, in order not to be eliminated, especially among their childrens and grandchildrens.

No doubt the wide varieties of technology makes things more convenient for us, like communicating with frenz thru emails/online chat messengers/sms, instead of punching numbers into telephones to get across to the other party. Even things like credit cards, something that doesn't serve as a basic necessity years ago, have evolved into a plastic that is compulsory for online shopping, booking of tickets, and other similar transactions. For the purpose of this, ppl have flocked to banks and have become interested in roadshows, all for the sole reason of shopping within the confines of their own homes, and with a few clicks of the mouse, to have their products delivered to their doorstep.

What we have not realised is the social and emotional impact on us folks. With more communication channels being opened, we don't just depend on telephones sitting in a corner of our homes anymore, and some of us may not even realise that the telephone being neglected in ur house have attracted tonnes of dust and may not even be functional already. With the handphones sms service, we will text out frenz abt meeting times, silly anecdotes, and the usual greetings. This is thought to be of more convenience rather than calling up frenz, and with the search feature in our handphones, we don't even need a tangible address bk to hold our frenz contacts, as all is visible within a few presses of the keypads. Therefore, ppl have forgotten what their frenz numbers are, instead of just pulling it out from the back of their mind like when we were still in sec schs, when the usage of handphones aren't into trend yet. Without a handphone, life is like hell now.

As for the internet, another form communication also comes from there - the chat messengers, like icq, msn or yahoo. Again, instead of calling, ppl will just chat online, for hours, to gossip, talk abt their life happenings and everything under the roof. This may be known as fully utilizing the internet, so as to make every cent worth paying for monthly. But what we may not know is that we are so used to chatting by tapping the keyboard and pushing the keypads that we have lost our communication skills gradually.There may be a minority of ppl out there who are shy by nature, and this form of communication may help them to convey what feelings that they have difficulty conveying when in a face to face situation. But by shunning their flaw, it will not cure them of their social problem. All the more they should go out, face ppl and speak up if they are shy. If you are imperfect, try to cure the flaw(s) that will eventually lead you to perfection.

All the above mentioned makes us more lazy too. Instead of going out to shop, some ppl prefer to enjoy their life at hm, surfing the net while doing online shopping simultaneously.Instead of having a nice afternoon out sipping coffee and gossiping abt each other's life, ppl have also turned to chat messengers for mass chats, where everybody will meet up online at a certain hour, instead of meeting up outside separately as not everybody will be free, judging by the hectic lifestyle of sporeans now.

It's true that all of these technologies will do us good, but maybe we should be thrown back into the basics, to experience the definition of a "real life", a life without so much as dependence on technology.

Fingers dancing ended on 5/19/2005 03:08:00 PM

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Sunday, May 15, 2005

Shucks...

Bought two plain tops while out today. It was actually a hunt for the cheapest Zen Micro in town, but besides adding two new tops to my wardrobe, I didn't gain anything else from my trip anymore. What I got instead was only a pair of worn out feet that desperately beckons out to its master for a visit to the foot reflexology centre...
~Feet: I'm glad that u took me out to explore town, master, and that it was good exercise for me, to train up my lil muscles, but pls dun torture me even if u can't get ur beloved product. I'll pray that u'll get it soon. Now can we get hm n rest my pitiful small feet in bed?~
The part abt the feet talking was lame, I know it haha...

Right, I literally scoured the whole of Sim Lim Square today, in an effort to source for the cheapest bragain I could find. Judging by the amount of my pay, I had no choice but to save up any amount I can, down to the last cent even. After a few rounds of "How much is the Zen Micro?" and "Is there no way u can lessen it further?", the best price being offered to me sums up to a total of $340, including GST. Fumbling with my fingers in an act of desperation, I did a mental calculation in my mind, of the money that would be left in my bank after I paid for the Zen Micro, with a mind-blowing price of $340. Oh shit, no way could I bear to part with the money, my budget's only $300, so that's way off the track, I pondered. After what seemed like hrs of searches and enquiries in different shops, I trudged out of Sim Lim reluctantly, feeling my heart sink at the thought of my Zen Micro "flying away".

On my way hm in the MRT, my bro called and asked if I have purchased my anticipated device yet, and if not he can help me enquire at Far East, since he was right there on Far East ground while speaking with me. So therefore after minutes of waiting and playing with my handphone strap, my bro called back with the news that the lowest price one of the shops there could offer was $336. I quickly rejected the offer, but after a minor discussion with my mum, she said she'll pay the balance of $36 for me. So then I jumped off the next station the MRT halted at, and happily hobbled off, wanting to hail a cab and rush down, since it was already 8.30pm when I was at Buona Vista station, and I had no idea what time far east closes for the day. On instinct, I rang my bro up again, asking him to confirm with the shop-tender the availability of the color I wanted - white. Haha..Am I unlucky or cursed? I'm not sure, but all 3 shops that carries Zen Micro there doesn't hv the DAMNED white color I'm drooling over. How nice, I mused...

On flashback, my mum told me once that there was a COURTS voucher worth $100, now still intact, from the time it was given free when my bro bought his desktop, which was like only a few months ago. "Ding!", the lightbulb in my mind virtually springed to life. I could make use of the $100 voucher rite, and then I will only need to pay $299 for the remainder, and it was just my budget all right. WAHAHA!!!

Alright, stop it, u're being an asshole, my internal angel chided me.

Fingers dancing ended on 5/15/2005 10:54:00 PM

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Thursday, May 12, 2005

My views about clubbing

I used to possess this imbecile conception that club goers are all Lians and Bengs. Right, I hope this first sentence of mine doesn't offend anybody haha..But really, since clubbing consists of puffing away highly addictive tobacco-filled sticks, and drowning down glasses after glasses of heart-burning alcohols, as well as swaying and grooving to the deafening music,it is inevitable that you connect this kinda surrounding to ppl who are too full of themselves.

What ppl are unaware of is the reason behind their behaviour. Some ppl may club simply bcos they like to drink or dance,but I believe that the majority does so to temporarily escape from the overbearing demands of their life, be it in the workplace or at home. While dancing to the tunes of the music, and what with everybody around you lost in their own world based on pure enjoyment of the music and dancing with oblivion to their surroundings, it's really difficult not to get a parcel of their ecstasy. It may be the cause of the music, it may also be the cause of the alcoholic effect on ur body, but either one implies that it sure is a good way to de-stress. So folks, go on, party all you can, for it's the perfect remedy when you're about to give in to all the unsolved obstacles in your life.

Maybe that's not the best way, as it only promises an escapism that last for no more than a few hours, but isn't it better than sitting at home sulking your way thru the rest of the night, and tossing and turning in your bed refusing to even contemplate the consequences if your problems are not solved?

I hope this entry will also shed some light on my fren Wendy Tan, probably give her a new perspective in her life, for she refuse to even discuss abt it when the mere word of "clubbing" escapes my or one of our clique's mouth, not to mention having a ladies' night out with us.

Fingers dancing ended on 5/12/2005 06:53:00 PM

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Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Self-written lyrics

How I wish I could make him stay...
But he did not respond to my pleas...
Instead, he disgustedly push off my clinging hand, and told me it was all over..
That it's not possible to reconcile, ever again...
He said it was hard for him to reach this decision,
but I did not believe a single word that came out of his mouth now...
He had deceived me not once, but twice...
All the dreams we once shared, all the memories we once reminisced abt, was now lost...
Lost into another world that doesn't exist between us anymore,
and blown away by his breath at the exact moment he broke the earth-shattering news to me...
How I wish..How I wish..
That I could turn back time...
That I would once again be in his arms, being cradled by him,
being comforted by his gentle voice on me, that all that
happened a minute ago was just a silly dream of mine...
But he slammed the door on me, jerked me back
into the cruel reality of life and left me there
streaking with violent tears of undoubted sorrow...

P.S. This did not happen to me, or to anyone I know of..Those above are just some lyrics that I have thought up of to accompany the song currently playing in my blog..
A sad song for some sad lyrics..I was too bored at hm that's why hahaha :P

Fingers dancing ended on 5/11/2005 07:01:00 PM

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Friday, May 06, 2005

Blank is the word to describe me

I'm going for the Monash Open House tmr at Capitol House, or is it Capitol Centre? Haha heck lah it's next to City Hall Mrt Station only..Anyone wanna join me? I suppose not haha...

I've changed my blog song..Nice? It's Wish by S.E.N.S..Hope u folks like it...

Well I just went for an interview earlier this morning for an IT Trainer..The guy told me I dun hv any experience in teaching therefore he can only offer me like $1.3K..Well I'll see how first since he say maybe next week I'll follow an Instructor around and I'll be the assistant, to get a feel of how it's like to be teaching in a secondary school, facing "monkeys" of the class, according to how he describe those secondary students haha..Well I can't agree more. Thinking back, secondary students especially guys, do behave like monkeys..No hard feelings or me being a feminist here, it's just a description haha..Well so after a few lessons of being an assistant, I can choose to officially accept the job anot, and if I did, I'll no longer be an assistant but a real trainer, and will have to face the music all by myself in another sch, which is at woodlands..Sounds scary eh? Haha..Maybe this will help train my patience and voice, and of cos my guts hahaha!!! Apparently, I dun possess those 3 traits I've just mentioned...

Anything else I wanna add? No..Except maybe telling peeps I'm broke..My cheque's not here yet, fucker..Sorry maybe I should say "bitches", since my previous company consists of all females, or rather, nuns!! Haha...

I want my Zen Micro!!! Give it to me!!!

Fingers dancing ended on 5/06/2005 04:45:00 PM

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